Change Is In The Air

Hmmmm, it's been awhile. I think this blog is changing again as am I and as is my life.

I'm moving out of Brooklyn, NY and back to California. It feels like I've been in New York forever and it's really only been 2 years.

So in the spirit of change I'm going to broaden the topic of this blog *again* and let it encompass more than just writings about music.

Creativity and spirit - fruity combination of words. Words that evoke a cringe from a lot of people. Words that I think get misused and abused for so many reasons it'd take another blog to capture it all so I'll leave that alone.

Is creativity a force - a type of energy?

Is it a reaction to convention?

Most of the time I hear about creativity in a context that leads me to believe that it's something happening within a structure that is intrinsically and patently stale, rigid, boring and scripted. Doesn't sound very creative actually - sounds like a very simple dynamic that could probably be represented by two shapes - a square and a circle.

But - back to my topic - my blog - it's subject matter and change.

I've picked up the meditation work I was doing before I spent time studying the buddhist tradition and some interesting things have surfaced as a result. Most notably my creativity. I was working with my teacher and she noted that it is wild and thus created conflict between me and other people close to me that didn't know how to handle it. Perhaps this is why the square - circle dynamic is so quick to come to mind.

What I'm faced with now - is this - how do I relate to my own creativity. It is a wild force and part of what this blog originally represented was my intellectual response to it. For years, I've searched for tools and theories to help me understand and harness it. I've engaged in all kinds of spiritual inquiry and been open to embracing whatever philosophy might provide a better context for me to engage it.

I feel hopeless - but also more curious than ever. I wonder now if perhaps I'd had things backwards all along in looking for a context to put my creative energy into instead of allowing my creativity to create it's own context through me .....

I had the pleasure to getting to know John Lurie while I've been living in New York. He is an important figure in my musical history. He said to me once - "music is not science". I don't know if I've ever felt more nailed in my life; I really have no idea if he knew that I'd been looking to science to help me understand music and my own musical inclinations. It didn't matter. I was caught. And thankfully.