Tis The Season Of God Only Knows What

I'm not a big fan of this time of year. The winter weather itself depending on which coast I am living on and for how long can be wonderful (for a minute) but what we as a people do with our energy is just well it's something I'd rather sleep through.

This year I started off with some decent strategies - basically to keep things as mellow as possible and just stay focused on the present moment.

And this is what's rolled downhill thus far ......

Day Before Thanksgiving - hear the news that Chris Whitley died of lung cancer

Thanksgiving - A marginally civil day spent with my immediate family. It's proclaimed a success because there were no fights, no one stormed out, no one cried and to make all this happen no one spoke very much.

Four Days After Thanksgiving - hear the news that the first boy to ever flirt with me at a dance club died of a brain aneurysm

One Week After Thanksgiving - successful wavefront intralase laser eye surgery performed on yours truly

2 1/2 Weeks After Thanksgiving - receive call from doctor informing me of pre-cancerous cell changes in a test result

1 Week Before Christmas - people are insane, i'm losing it and the anxiety in the air is too much, i have no plans for either holiday - part of me wants to completely blow it off and check out until Jan 2, 2006 and some other part of me wishes for something very different. I really hate this time of year - it seems like it doesn't matter where you end up alone or surrounded by others - it's a challenge to just be.