Antony And The Johnsons, Breakfast On Pluto And Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes
Today I finally listened to Antony and The Johnsons 'I Am A Bird Now', saw Breakfast On Pluto and subsequently came that much closer to realizing that there are changes to be made in my own world.
Why do I love and admire men who dress up as women, play with their gender roles and often exist completely outside the realm of conservative social convention? Because from where I stand for all the shit I imagine they must traverse they appear to be 100 times more free in their expression of who they are than I am. Funny how a lack of fundamental affinity with one's gender and the physical manifestation of that lack of affinity can appear free. Maybe what I see is the permission they give themselves to recognize and address that fundamental lack of affinity.
I feel alienated in my work situation now - I might as well be back in high school. There is definitely a lack of affinity between me and my team as a whole. Makes me want to act it out in some extreme way - just to bring it all up to the surface and laugh at it all instead of just sensing it and cringing.
I got to make some changes - this whole embracing and owning of my creativity - it's not the easiest thing I've ever done - it requires a certain amount of patience and subtltey within myself - but I know that it's the crux of important changes that will help me chart a course of greater affinity for myself.
Today I finally listened to Antony and The Johnsons 'I Am A Bird Now', saw Breakfast On Pluto and subsequently came that much closer to realizing that there are changes to be made in my own world.
Why do I love and admire men who dress up as women, play with their gender roles and often exist completely outside the realm of conservative social convention? Because from where I stand for all the shit I imagine they must traverse they appear to be 100 times more free in their expression of who they are than I am. Funny how a lack of fundamental affinity with one's gender and the physical manifestation of that lack of affinity can appear free. Maybe what I see is the permission they give themselves to recognize and address that fundamental lack of affinity.
I feel alienated in my work situation now - I might as well be back in high school. There is definitely a lack of affinity between me and my team as a whole. Makes me want to act it out in some extreme way - just to bring it all up to the surface and laugh at it all instead of just sensing it and cringing.
I got to make some changes - this whole embracing and owning of my creativity - it's not the easiest thing I've ever done - it requires a certain amount of patience and subtltey within myself - but I know that it's the crux of important changes that will help me chart a course of greater affinity for myself.
posted by Stacia @ 12:38 AM
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