The Picture In My Mind, The Memory In My Muscles And Realizing Vision

So while on break from school I have a lot more time on my hands in the evening and I'm kind of enjoying it.

Tonight, aside from posting here and cooking the cancer prevention menu for the evening, I decided to do some drawing. One of my goals for the clairvoyant training program was to work on manifesting inward creativity outwardly. It's sort of a catch all for learning how to own my creativity and create from a very conscious place.

So much of clairvoyant training has been about learning to see things outside of myself. Off and on throughout the program I've worked on creating outside of myself - like literally visualizing whatever it is I'm creating outside of my energetic space from a place of neutrality and working on it there. This really helped me see where I get caught in the creative process - most notably merging so totally with whatever I'm making that I lose objectivity and the whole process just kind of caves in on itself.

So tonight I was able to visualize a picture that I wanted to draw. It was/is a study in contrasts I suppose at least energetically that's how it looks. It took me a minute to get okay with working with construction paper and crayons - that was the extent of what I have on hand to work with. At first I was a little gunshy and I could feel my hand slipping into familiar patterns - it wanted to move - and I've definitely got a series of movements sitting in muscle memory - doodle patterns and shapes that my hand likes to make. So I had to slow down and not succumb to the whims of memory - shit if I could only master that on an emotional level so many problems would be no more - but I digress. So the next hurdle was *how* to draw what I saw - I lack the mastery of technique of a schooled visual artist - and for a second my novice status was intimidating - but I kept at it - and decided to start with shapes - draw shapes that signify the image in my mind. With a little bit of trust and a whole lot of who gives a fuck I was on my way and I have to say that there is something to this .... I don't know what just yet but it seems like a step along the path to realizing vision.