What's A Girl To Do?

I'm working from home today - it's an easy feeling - in my pjs - at the table - drinking dark sumatra staring out the kitchen window onto the backside of Bernal Hill.

From here, everything is clear. I need to leave my job for reasons which do not include just not wanting to work. There are viable reasons for me to be disgruntled and seek employment elsewhere. Let us say simply that I am screwed between the combination of a glass ceiling, irresponsible boss above me and a group made up of people who I don't share a lot of work experience with it's a far, far less than ideal situation.

These are the days when a really strong ego could come in handy. So much of what I'm wading through is invisible, unprovable, all about perception. I think that the only really effective way to get through the morass of a perception festival is with an unshakeable sense of who you are, what you want, what you bring and what you're worth. And that requires some ego.

I am in the process of digging mine up - it's buried under the rubble of the dot com blow out, 9/11, failed relationships and 3 years without any of my own creativity in my life (read I stopped playing music). I used to shudder at the hubris with which I swaggered back in the day. Things having come slightly full circle and now I can see that right or wrong - good or bad - that hubris was there for a reason and at a time it served me well. I'm hoping for a deeper balance this time around.