Head Cold Versus Allergies, My Day Job And More Transitions Than You Can Shake A Stick At
I've got a goddamned cold again - either that or I've developed allergies because right now my head's like a faucet and my nose is at the end of it. This is so lame. I'm sneezy and runny and trying to pack my house up oh my!
What the fuck is this all about?!
I've been historically fucked over transitions - well not fucked if you don't mind me turning into a militant beast who's organized every last breath out of a process and could wallpaper the span of your large intestines with to-do lists and schedules. Wo betide the soul who crossed me in that mode.
But I don't play that way much anymore mostly cause my body can't take the ratcheting anxiety and tension required to pull off that style of maneuvering. No - now I'm more chilled out, mellow, lists don't get followed with any type of precision or at all and when I start to judge the resulting chaos I usually stop myself and just smile. So this cold I've got, it's all part of the gig right, unscheduled, somewhat less than ideal, it's casual, you know, sneezing your ass off to the point of having your co-workers ask you to go home because you're starting to scare them. It's cool.
Oh and my day job - speaking of co-workers - I'm a vaciliation factory on this one. It's bullshit ultimately, if coding new apps was my 100% priority I should have left it a long time ago. But I didn't because well I was in school and it's very 9-5 and well school time in the evenings was way more important and I got a lot of satisfaction from school so I could shrug the work thing loose most of the time. Well the jig is up on school - although I have to go back for a couple of ministers courses and then there's Clairvoyant 2 starting up next September not to mention the sewing/clothing design classes, pilot training and most recently writing classes I've been interested in pursuing. But all that aside my job is as we say at the office a fuckall. I'm back in the process game, teaching the business process and that as an internal dev team it's impossible to build anything while getting pulled in 8 different directions by every different department having no written requirements or delivery dates. So we're implementing process - and guess what's happening now - certain folks don't wanna play so they are having conversations with others about whether our team can really deliver and what about the 'perception' of our group out in the organization. This makes me want to kill myself. Motherfuckers.
So now I lie on my futon after having reluctantly imbibed some Sudafed and stare down at all of this and try to get into a place where I can see it outside of myself and not merge so totally with the work, move, cold, transition thing because ultimately none of it is me and it's all temporary.
I've got a goddamned cold again - either that or I've developed allergies because right now my head's like a faucet and my nose is at the end of it. This is so lame. I'm sneezy and runny and trying to pack my house up oh my!
What the fuck is this all about?!
I've been historically fucked over transitions - well not fucked if you don't mind me turning into a militant beast who's organized every last breath out of a process and could wallpaper the span of your large intestines with to-do lists and schedules. Wo betide the soul who crossed me in that mode.
But I don't play that way much anymore mostly cause my body can't take the ratcheting anxiety and tension required to pull off that style of maneuvering. No - now I'm more chilled out, mellow, lists don't get followed with any type of precision or at all and when I start to judge the resulting chaos I usually stop myself and just smile. So this cold I've got, it's all part of the gig right, unscheduled, somewhat less than ideal, it's casual, you know, sneezing your ass off to the point of having your co-workers ask you to go home because you're starting to scare them. It's cool.
Oh and my day job - speaking of co-workers - I'm a vaciliation factory on this one. It's bullshit ultimately, if coding new apps was my 100% priority I should have left it a long time ago. But I didn't because well I was in school and it's very 9-5 and well school time in the evenings was way more important and I got a lot of satisfaction from school so I could shrug the work thing loose most of the time. Well the jig is up on school - although I have to go back for a couple of ministers courses and then there's Clairvoyant 2 starting up next September not to mention the sewing/clothing design classes, pilot training and most recently writing classes I've been interested in pursuing. But all that aside my job is as we say at the office a fuckall. I'm back in the process game, teaching the business process and that as an internal dev team it's impossible to build anything while getting pulled in 8 different directions by every different department having no written requirements or delivery dates. So we're implementing process - and guess what's happening now - certain folks don't wanna play so they are having conversations with others about whether our team can really deliver and what about the 'perception' of our group out in the organization. This makes me want to kill myself. Motherfuckers.
So now I lie on my futon after having reluctantly imbibed some Sudafed and stare down at all of this and try to get into a place where I can see it outside of myself and not merge so totally with the work, move, cold, transition thing because ultimately none of it is me and it's all temporary.
posted by Stacia @ 6:38 PM
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