So many little thoughts that seem significant ... wish I could remember them all.

Playing music in the woods this weekend got me thinking - got me remembering that all the fuss of commerce - competition, stress, deadlines, production - has absolutely nothing to do with sound - playing music - opening up inside and creating.

I want more love in my life with my friends who are more and more like family, with the people I interact with everyday as I go about the business of living my life and with/for myself. It seems like the answer to so much.

They Waxed That 'There Is No God' And I Went To Church

Last night I attended a rare performance by Negativland at the Great American Music Hall in San Francisco. The show was "It's All In Your Head FM" - "a stereophonic look at monotheism in all its forms, as hosted by the venerable Dr. Oslo Norway."

It was a very interesting show - intellectually and sonically speaking. I'd never seen Negativland nor did I know very much about what to expect from their live show. I was impressed with their ability to mix audio sources so fluidly for such long stretches of time.

The content - "the look at monotheism" or the "god concept" was of particular interest given that I've been deeply embroiled in spiritual practice and study for the last 3 years.

It would seem and I reserve the right to be wrong - that in the end Negativland feels most comfortable deferring to the neurosciences for an explanation and understanding of the human need for spiritual connection. Perhaps I am oversimplifying - and it's more like they pointed at the neurosciences as a clearing house for "clean" (clean = factual/provable) data for mankind's "god". Hence .... "It's All In Your Head FM".

I couldn't completely process my opinion of this idea during the show - I do think it's all in our heads - each of our heads - but it's too easy to stop there and had it over to science - at least for me.

So I left - a little early - I'd been itching to dance all day and there was only so much sitting on a stool at the Great American Music Hall that I could take. Thursday nights are 1984 at The Cat Club here in San Fran - I knew I could get my fix there.

If music is my religion the dance floor is my church.

I cut it up until 3 this morning. And whether or not it was all in my head or not dancing is something of a spiritual experience for me. It's an activity where my mind, senses, body and spirit come together to express - and it is divine.

trying .....

to shift how I think about entering text into my computer in any format - email, webmail, blog, textedit. There's something about writing on paper that feels *safer*. My god - am I a latent LUDITE?

There's a world that I can enter when I'm writing on paper sorta the same world I can enter when I sit down in front of the piano. It's a seemingly more complete process - keys are struck - sounds are created - ink is guided to form words which will forever live on those pages. In the case of a letter there's always the mailing of it which sometimes I don't do and perhaps therein lies some of the feeling of safety - I can communicate my thoughts fully and then choose whether or not to share them and the sharing of them requires a much greater effort (getting the letter into an envelope, addressed, stamped and *gasp* put into a post box). The electronic world is faster. Energy can be transmitted rapidly. Choices are made more quickly and perhaps without some much consideration. Urgency can drive those choices. Right now I am struggling to trust myself in the digital domain.

Questions go like this:

- Is this post worthwhile?

- Will it be complete?

- Will I look back on it 3 months from now and cringe?

- How should I reply to this email - how much information is wanted?

- Am I pushing it - is this a forced communication?

- Why can't we just talk on the phone?

Online publishing thrills me - the instant gratification - the reflection of our constant state of change - it's exhilarating, challenging, intriguing and sexy. Maybe there's just a new set of underlying energetic rules that govern how digital communications work naturally and we as a people are adjusting to them?

It's 8:19AM

I've come into work early this morning only so I can leave early and go to yoga before heading up to the city to go to clairvoyant school. And here I am typing away ..... for personal purpose.

Whatever.

It's 8:21AM

Yesterday and this morning for that matter I've been inspired by the notion of writing a screen play or maybe book.

Because It's Too Good Not To Share

My friend had an Oktoberfest themed birthday party thrown for her this weekend. Costumes were strongly encouraged. There was a polka band, dance lesson and my friend Erik dressed as the pope (cuz the new pope's German doncha know). It was a blast.